Born in a small mountain town, on a drinking holiday, I came into the world among the drumbeats of a marching band and a lifetime of trying to talk louder than the voices in my head. Growing up on a tiny farm, reminiscent of a young Clark Kent, I longed for a life of away from the animals that surely plotted my demise as I slept only a few feet away from their deadly machinations. Having been kicked by the family cow, thrown off by my own horse, attacked by my grandmother’s roosters, and bitten by the family pig, who was obviously the ring leader of the whole cadre. The worst one was Sally the goose from hell , ho always seemed to look at me, out of the corner of her eye, with murder on her mind. Escaping the animal farm of nightmares, I live a non-sequitur life and try not to bump into things as I solve life's mysteries.